


The Quiet Darkness of the Early Morning

by riacte



Series: MCC Hermits and Friends [2]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game), Minecraft championship - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurities, im sorry, this is the angstiest hc fic ive written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27557956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riacte/pseuds/riacte
Summary: Ren never wins anything. And he knows it.-“We did win! We did win!” Grian squeals, jumping around like a madman.“T-this is amazing! I’d, I’d never win anything!” Ren gasps in joy, the words spilling out of mouth before he can stop them. The smile on Grian’s face slides off and is replaced by one of mild confusion.“Ren, you literally won MCC a month ago?” Grian says. “You can’t have forgotten, right?”Grian says it in a joking way, but somehow, Ren is quiet.-Ren is insecure the night before MCC12. False comforts him.
Relationships: falsesymmetry & rendog
Series: MCC Hermits and Friends [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014315
Comments: 14
Kudos: 87





	The Quiet Darkness of the Early Morning

Ren’s with Grian at the Hedge Games. Ren starts by saying, “Grian, I can’t actually believe it, but we won.”

Grian looks at him with a cheeky grin. “ _I_ can believe it ‘cause we spent like three days collecting leaves.” 

“Yeah, that’s actually true, b-but, we won the whole thing!” 

“We did win! _We did win!”_ Grian squeals, jumping around like a madman. 

“T-this is amazing! I’d, I’d never win anything!” Ren gasps in joy, the words spilling out of mouth before he can stop them. The smile on Grian’s face slides off and is replaced by one of mild confusion. 

“Ren, you literally won MCC a month ago?” Grian says. “You can’t have forgotten, right?”

Grian says it in a joking way, but somehow, Ren is quiet.

* * *

Ren never wins anything. And he knows it.

* * *

During the Civil War, Team S.T.A.R. lost fair and square. They had a sick diss track, but they still lost. That was okay. Ren was slaughtered by Stress when she lured him and Doc into her pigman trap, and he had to give it to her. That was absolutely hilarious and cunning. He and Doc laughed about it for weeks.

“GG,” Ren exclaimed, clapping Stress on the back. “GG.”

* * *

Ren was part of the Hippie Commune. They sort of won against Area 77, but only because Area 77 turned out to be a theme park all along.

… And even if they won, Ren felt like he didn’t do anything. Impulse took care of the redstone, Grian made the farms. Ren just made beetroot soup and badly attempted to convert illagers into peace-loving hippies. Still, Ren had a blast.

* * *

Ren was the first to die in Demise. It was almost unfair. He actually completed the dares Grian set up and broke free of his watery prison, he just died of fall damage. Which was unfortunate, but rules were rules. Ren was the first hermit to die ( _fail_ ), the first greyskin ( _loser_ ), and became the Reaper ( _a persona he created to make him feel better)._

At least he had a fun time killing his friends. At least everything returned to normal after Doc died and Iskall was the last man standing.

* * *

In Season 7, Ren named his starter base Loser Island. It felt fitting.

* * *

The Game of Life was like a Western themed Demise. Ren enjoyed the freshness of this new world. As he stood in the mesa and stared at his rickety saloon and enjoyed the vivid red of the sunset, he thought, _maybe he could win something for once_. 

(Spoilers: he didn’t win. Ren would’ve said something about Doc being too fast but actually, Ren was just too slow to draw his gun.)

He and Doc had a good time, though. And at that moment, that was all that mattered to Ren.

* * *

Ren’s beloved mooshroom Pamela was stolen by Jevin. He _had_ to win her back no matter the cost, even if the cost was cheating in a wrestling match. Ren felt a slight twinge of guilt when he drank the GOAT juice (strength potions), but he knew with his skills, he would never win PvP, not even against his fellow hermits. Everybody, including Jevin, knew Ren “cheated”, but since Jevin was at fault in the first place, and they were wrestling for fun, they all let it slide. So Ren won.

* * *

Ren didn’t win the Head Games. No one could beat Cod Boy and Wizard Chap or whatever Cleo called them. It was fine; Ren didn’t really care about the prizes. (And he heard Scar’s share of the prize became a permanent part of Larry the snail as a diamond mustache.)

* * *

Tag 2 Electric Boogaloo? Ren didn’t care about that either.

* * *

Ren and False didn’t even come _close_ to winning the Minecraft Championship. They told themselves they were just there for fun, but it was a little disheartening to see them get 9th place again and again. It especially sucked that they represented Hermitcraft, arguably the most popular Minecraft series at that time, and they were _terrible_ at MCC. Like below average. Not even Hermitcraft’s PvP queen was a match for the legendary PvPers in MCC, so how can any other hermit else win? But again, Ren didn’t care so long he was having fun with his friends. That was the most important thing to Ren.

* * *

Ren never wins anything. This was a fact until he met the Blue Bats of MCC9.

* * *

Suddenly he and Falsie had two mentors who wholly believed in their abilities. Suddenly they were the protagonists of a “zero to hero” story. Hbomb and Fruit brought him and False to the very top, and Ren remembered proudly holding the trophy with his team, screaming at the top of his lungs. Hermits could win MCC. Ren could win something.

Ren felt like he was in seventh heaven. He was so grateful for the wonderful friends he met and the enjoyment MCC brought to the viewers and the participants. Both he and False kept their crowns on their heads even after they returned to Hermitcraft. It served as a reminder of their unlimited potential.

And what potential did they have! Less than a month after the Blue Bats won MCC9, False and Cub’s team, the Orange Ocelots, won MCC10. False became the first and only back-to-back winner of Minecraft Championship. Cub won his first MCC. The hermits were all rioting in their joy. Three of their own had been champions now, and perhaps they could secure Grian his first win and False another win next time?

* * *

How much did Ren wish he had the ability to do that.

* * *

The Lime Liches of MCC11 consisted of Ren, False, Grian, and Fruit. Three-quarters of the legendary Blue Bats. Everyone was looking forward to their performance after the last two Championships. People were particularly hyped for False Supremacy, Fruitberries, and Lord Grian Dreamslayer. Ren knew he was the weakest player among them all, and… he usually didn’t mind that. His teammates didn’t mind. But today, the stakes were high. Ren had to seriously pop off and he definitely couldn’t let his team down. 

… It was Build Mart and Ren’s hands were sweating. His brain was blank and he could barely regard which blocks he was picking up. Ren forgot something. He forgot another thing. His lips kept on moving, he kept on apologising, yet his limbs continued to stumble. He was apologising, and apologising, _and apologising_ again— why was he doing that? What good would it do? He should just focus on his build—

Except Ren wanted validation. He desperately wanted to know that his teammates didn’t hate him for his mistakes. It was irrational, selfish, insecure, but Ren couldn’t stop his emotions. And yet, because everyone was busy, they didn’t have time to respond to every one of Ren’s apologies. Which was fine. _Really._ Ren understood.

Ren never won anything. Lime Liches got second in Build Mart, but Ren felt like he’d just dragged them down. Of course no one else felt the same but there was that nagging thought in the back of Ren’s mind, whispering,

_“You’re never going to be a champion. Every time you win it’s because of someone else.”_

… Hbomb, Fruit, False. Doc. Grian. Impulse. These were all friends who brought Ren to “victory”.

…

Parkour Warrior was a disaster. Ren had never seen Grian look so pale and stressed out and he _hated_ it. He _hated he couldn’t do anything to make Grian feel better._ They were close friends and yet Grian was almost having a breakdown in front of him and Ren couldn’t stop it. Fruit and False were too far ahead to know what was happening but Ren and Grian were stuck in the same place.

Ren tried to call out to Grian, but Grian either ignored him or couldn’t hear him. Ren watched as Grian fell down again and again and he watched as Grian’s shoulders slouched more with every failure. Ren’s heart broke.

They were supposed to have fun. They were supposed to use their Bdubs war paint to scare people and they were supposed to chill and have a good time and _they were supposed to have fun._ And now Grian was close to having a panic attack. 

Ren wished he was like Fruit and False so he could teach Grian how to make the jumps. Ren wished he was like Hbomb so he could hype Grian up. But no, he was just Ren, Ren, Ren, who never won anything. 

And Ren… Ren had more experience than Grian. He’d been in a competitive team before. He should know how to boost morale and he should have parkour tips. He’d won the MCC! So _why_ couldn’t he do anything now?

Lime Liches got fourth. Grian was so exhausted and emotionally drained after MCC he couldn’t join Doc’s charity stream. Ren felt like it was his fault.

* * *

It’s the day before MCC12. Ren’s teaming up False, Ren, and Fwhip. Cub’s teaming up with Fruit. H is in another team. They’ve gone separate ways but Ren’s still with the hermits.

Ren’s sitting on top of his blimp in the shopping district of Hermitcraft. He stares at the setting sun and exhales. He’s definitely excited to play MCC, but there’s an odd heaviness in his stomach. Ren’s hand is clenched in a fist. 

_Ren never wins anything. And he knows it._

An arrow flies past his cheek and Ren jumps. Ren would’ve fallen off his blimp if his reflexes hadn’t improved due to participating in MCC. 

“Oooh, I spy some suspicious Mycelium Resistance action in the shopping district!” A familiar voice teases, and a blur of gold descends from the sky. It’s False, armed with her bow and a bright grin. Ren smiles upon seeing his friend, but False quickly realizes something’s wrong. She drops her role play and sits next to Ren. “You good? Worried about MCC?”

Ren sighs and stares at his lap. “A little bit? I- this is kinda hard to talk about. Humour me, Falsie?”

Worry glints in False’s blue eyes, but she says, “Sure. I’ll be happy to listen.”

Ren stretches his fingers, and begins. “You know how I never win anything? Wars, Demise, PvP…” he sees the look on False’s face. “Well yeah, we won MCC. But… I’m not saying I don’t deserve the win, since you’ll kill me (False chuckles), but it’s just… I didn’t contribute as much as I wanted?”

“I definitely improved. I did a lot better than I did last time but I’m like… always the last in Ace Race and To Get To The Other Side. I’m not good at PvP… I mean I just stuck with you guys in Survival Games and fed you with arrows. I did _something,_ but why… why couldn’t I do something more?”

False grabs Ren’s hands and he blinks, surprised. “Ren, I promise you that you’re enough,” she says with sincerity. “Y-you did more than enough. We practiced really hard and we did our best, didn’t we?”

“And you know, you were always there to motivate us. Remember when Survival Games was picked and even H lost confidence? Who was it that encouraged us?”

“H-huh?” Ren’s experiencing a brain fart. 

“ _You_ did, Ren,” False says fiercely. “You said _‘we got this dudes_ ’ without blinking an eye. You believed in all of us before any of us dared to. And it’s that immediate reaction of whole-hearted faith and support that boosted our morale. _You_ kept our spirits high, Ren. Without you, we would’ve never won.” False nudges Ren’s shoulder. “You’re a champion. Don’t ever forget that.”

Ren manages to grin. “Umm, thanks, Falsie. There’s also one other thing that I’ve been thinking about, and it sounds so stupid—“

“It’s fine, Ren. Just say what you wanna say.”

“Well. Umm. Okay.” Ren wipes his sweaty hands on his pants. “You know how you and Cub won MCC? And you got an ace and became the first back-to-back winner? And people were really looking forward to you getting a third win? And it didn’t… happen?” Ren’s face turns crestfallen.

“...Yeah?” False has a slight frown on her face. She can probably guess what Ren’s about to say but she doesn’t interrupt him. Not yet. 

“Grian was suffering during that MCC too. People wanted us to win really badly. _I_ wanted to win for Grian. I wanted him to have his first win. A-and, I usually don’t care about winning stuff. I’m normally just here to chill and have a good time.” He glances at Falsie. “You know that. But recently, I want to win for other people because others have done the same for me. And I, I—“

Ren’s nose feels wet and his throat constricts. “It just feels like… I can’t pass it on? I can’t win for Lime Liches. I- Grian is one of my closest friends and I couldn’t comfort him during parkour even though I had the chance to do so. Grian’s always a perfectionist, and he feels the pressure. He thinks he’s the replacement for Hbomb so he _must_ pop off for our sake. But that ended up terribly, and I... **_I couldn’t stop it!_ ** _”_ Ren bursts out. “I want Grian to win, but more than anything else I want him to enjoy MCC! What sort of champion, teammate, _friend_ am I if I can’t even do _that_?! Wh-why—“

When Ren realizes he can’t speak, he raises a hand to his face. It’s wet. He’s crying. 

“A-and I couldn’t win for you, Falsie!” Ren exclaims, voice nasally. He can’t even look after her now. “You did so well in MCC9 and 10! You’re fantastic at combat and archery! Blue Bats and Orange Ocelots brought you to victory, and Lime Liches couldn’t. I’ve seen those memes, Falsie, about _‘False Supremacy’_ — and I know the pressure must be immense. Heck, three back-to-back wins would be legendary! People would stop looking down at the hermits! B-but… we didn’t win. I couldn’t win for you. If anything I dragged Lime down.”

“You all popped off,” Ren continues in a small voice. “Fruit in Hole in the Wall, Grian in Rocket Spleef, and Falsie, you improved _lots_ in Parkour Warrior. Me? I got freakin 29th place.” Tears drip down his face and he hastily wipes them. “I don’t mind losing, I don’t mind not winning— _but not when my friends want to win._ I’m sorry I can’t do it for everyone. I'm sorry I dragged everyone down. **_I’m sorry I can’t be a champion_ **.”

It’s quiet. Ren’s fisted hands are trembling. Then he hears a sniffle. 

“Ohh, Ren,” False cries out, and her voice breaks his heart. She pulls him into a tight hug and Ren feels her hot tears stain his shirt.

“Well, now I’ve completely ruined the mood,” Ren mutters, mad at himself for being an over emotional idiot. “We’re participating in MCC hours from now. _Geez.”_ He gives a little self deprecating laugh. 

“Ren, you don’t need to win for us,” False sobs. “I’m so sorry you felt that way. You’ve done your very best and it’s honestly more than enough for us. Y-you don’t even want to win for yourself like most people do.” False clutches the back of Ren’s shirt, the fabric balled up in her fist, almost as if she’s scared Ren will disappear if she lets go. “You wanted to win for _friends._ That’s-that’s really sweet and honourable of you but please don’t feel sad over it. Just as it hurts you, we’re hurt when you’re hurt too. You never dragged the team down, Ren. In fact, you built us up and encouraged us when we most needed it.”

False shakes Ren’s shoulders like she could shake some sense into him. “You’re the glue that holds us all together. For the Blue Bats, you and H hit it off. Fruit and I, we’re a little quieter,” she admits. “You linked the hermit half and the non-hermit half of the team together. And for Lime Liches, you linked the Bats and Grian. Fruit and I were more focused on the strategies, but you made sure we were all enthusiastic. You know what you said about Grian? Maybe you were stressed during parkour, and maybe you couldn’t talk to him because of that, but you totally agreed with Grian’s opinions on parkour after the game. You were the one who gave him the validation he needed, and it would mean the most coming from you because you understood him the best. You can empathise with Grian. Without you, we’ll fall apart. You never failed any of us.”

Ren’s very quiet. He hiccups, and False continues.

“And for me, for the False Supremacy thing, I…” False looks to the side, hesitating. “I didn’t tell anyone about this, but I want you to know. I had a nightmare the night before our last tournament”

“W-what was it about?” Ren asks softly.

False exhales. “It was a nightmare about me winning MCC11. I became the first and only three-time back-to-back winner.”

Ren stares at her. “How is that a nightmare?”

The words fly out of False’s mouth. “Because I didn’t win with my friends,” she blurts out. “I didn’t win with the Lime Liches. I was teamed up with a bunch of random people that I don’t really know, and in the dream, when I won, strangers were cheering and screaming my name. I-I didn’t know any of them. I was so scared and confused.”

“I remember seeing Fruit on the sidelines. I was relieved, ‘cause my subconscious knew Fruit and I were in the same team. But he was yelling about how I popped off and how I deserved the win. And I knew that in the dream, he wasn’t on my team. And-and,” False’s eyes dart around, “you weren’t there. None of the hermits were there, not even as audience members. Not Cub, not Grian, not Iskall, not Jevin, not _you_. I was… lost. Afraid. Terrified even though I won.” False breathes out shakily. “I’d been in every MCC with at least another hermit and I wouldn't have it any other way. Even if I’ll get teamed up with ‘stronger’ players, I won’t join MCC if none of the hermits will join with me.” False sniffs. “ _Heck_ , I won’t even be in MCC if it wasn’t for you, Ren. We started this together and I’ll stay with you no matter what. Y-you don’t have to win for me or do anything dramatic like that. Just your presence is good enough, Ren. **_I promise_** _.”_

Ren parts his lips to say something, _anything,_ but all that comes out is a sob. He buries his head in False’s shoulder and cries. 

“Thank you so much, Falsie.” Ren’s voice is muffled, but False can make out his words clearly. “I really, _really_ needed to hear that. And yeah, I won’t have it any other way too. I’ve been in every MCC with you and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to a team without you. Thank you so much for always being here.”

Night falls over the world of Hermitcraft, moonlight washing over two figures hugging on top of Ren’s blimp. It’s quiet, very quiet, but it’s a content sort of quietness. 

False whispers, “Ren, you won lasting friendships. Just by showing up to MCC and persevering you won everyone’s hearts, including mine.” False looks at Ren with watery eyes and an honest smile. “Ren, you’re always a winner in my eyes. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, say otherwise.”

* * *

_Okay,_ maybe Ren does win. And this time, he wins confidence and self love.

* * *

_Being a champion doesn’t happen in front of a crowd._

_It doesn’t happen in the arena, or in front of the camera._

_It happens in the_ **_quiet darkness of the early morning within our own solitude_** _, where we try, and we_ **_try_** _, and we_ **_try again_ ** _—_

 _With everything we have,_ **_to be the best that we can possibly be._ **

**_Better than we were yesterday—_**

**_better than people thought we could ever be.  
_ **

_~ Rendog,_

_Hermitcraft Season 7 Episode 7_

_“HERMIT MANIA!”_

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry that this is so angsty. (I didn’t mean it for to be like that, I swear.) Also yeah I wrote this like 6 hours before MCC12 haha. I’ll personally be supporting Lime Llamas (Cub, Fruit, Pearl, Joel) :D Good luck to all teams!
> 
> So UHH! Hearing Ren say that he never wins anything made me go a little ;-; so I manifested an entire fic. I also miss Blue Bats, but I always miss the Blue Bats so it’s probably not worth mentioning in the A/N. 
> 
> I’LL TRY TO WRITE SOMETHING LESS SAD NEXT TIME yeee thanks for reading lol. I cried while writing this. I don’t know why I wrote this but it feels painful in a good way.
> 
> Edit: OKAY I WROTE A SHORT WHOLESOME REN-FALSE FIC TO RECOVER FROM WHATEVER THIS IS. It's called Mycelium Hair and it can be found in this collection! Just,,, Ren and False banter and braiding each other's hair,,,


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